If you could see me now

In memory of my daughter Hannah Kathryn. I write this for those who know me, for those who have lost something dear to them and for those who are afraid. Today it's been three years since she left this earth. 

Hannah was a simple girl, in fact she was so simple and pure that she confounded most people. She thrived on things like when people were kind for no reason or when love changed people or when she found something old and made it into something new. She loved things like; thunderstorms, her favorite pillow, making food for people and re- reading her favorite books.

I wish she were here to see me now. I wish she was in earthly form to sit with me on the edge of the bed and hear about all the things I’m up to. I would love to see the expression on her face as I tell her all the crazy things I’ve done since she died. All the things I’ve explored in search of healing my spirit and connecting myself with truth as I’ve searched tounderstand this crazy thing called life better. She would see how I don’t want to miss a thing, how I don’t want to avoid a lesson, or run from a truth that I’m meant to learn. I must say I think she would be amazed at the courageous person I have become since she last saw me.

She is a powerful motivator for me. The lessons her death taught me (so many, many lessons) for example; that what I see is not necessarily what is real, that so much of what I think is real is an illusion, that following truth is crucial, that I must listen and trust my intuition and heart, AND most of all – realizing there is NOTHING to fear! .
These are her gifts to me!

I do not know why I was given this path and gratefully I have released wanting to know. And what has replaced that wanting is instead, the desire to have eyes to see what the contracts are for my life. I don’t want to miss out on the lessons I’m meant to learn. And, I don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to find the courage to live them out as cravenly as I can creating the most loving compassionate story I can for myself and those I come in contact with along the way.